I Feel Like Giving Up..

This is my sixth blog, and I don't even see the point in leading a team anymore. I thought that if I lead a team, I would be noticed more, people would have fun and I would too. But the truth is, yes I got noticed, but is the family even having any fun?

I feel the need to rant right now, I have chosen some wrong leaders and all they do is judge people. To please them, I make them a leader, and then they complain about how this person is a top, and they shouldn't be, and that person is a leader and they shouldn't be. And then once one of the tops quit, they blame it all on me, and that it's my fault that they left. Like "I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!!" All I've been doing was trying to please your stupid ungrateful ass, and you treat me like this in return.

I feel like my father right now.. Being in a tight business/family and trying to please everyone. Now I understand why he comes home upset, hopeless, and miserable. I get all this pain from some of YOU. and I try to hide this pain, but it always comes back. I can never get rid of this pain. I feel the need to express to everyone who I care about how I feel, because really, when you're blaming me for this stuff, you're putting all this pressure on me.

Everyone keeps leaving my team to join another team which I had previous beef with, now I feel hopeless in this MSP world, and I wanna move on, But my Titaniums would never accept that, they want me to stay strong, and that's what I'll do.

I just wish that people would support me and in the things I do for people. I try soooo hard and for what? I get NOTHING in return and I feel so hopeless, what is there left? I keep losing people, and it is all turning on me, I feel like terrible leader and I just wanna quit msp.... I am crying inside and the pain is so intense and there is nothing I can do to make it go away!

What do I do? I don't know, maybe I should just listen to those people that said that Titaniums was a bad idea and just make it extinct in general.. ;(

If you understand how i'm feeling i'm glad because this pain is making me sooo upset and I don't know what to do anymore..